As gratified as I am that Beatles Rock Band has finally come out, I am disgusted by the number of people who are suddenly Beatles fans. Hey, guys? [whistles] Over here! I was a Beatles fan before they were cool in this decade!
If I become cool for liking them, the Apocalypse is coming.
I bet you’re wondering why this bothers me so much. I mean, I love the Beatles. Why should I protest if everyone else does too? Two reasons:
1) I don’t want to become mainstream, although this is less important.
2) You know they only like the Beatles because they’ve suddenly become new and exciting again. In two months they’ll be back with–whatever teenagers listen to now. I am a real Beatles fan. All these other people are just joining in because it’s something new. Kind of like in Ankh-Morpork.
What do you think? Tell me your opinions on this not-particularly-phenomenal phenomenon.
Because I decided not to go to the store with him, he gave me this big speech about how I don’t care about anyone else and I’m a selfish, horrible person and he wants nothing to do with me. So now apparently:
A) I don’t get an allowance anymore.
B) I have to buy my own food, do my own laundry, etc, etc.
C) I am no longer “part of this family” and now I’m their tenant for the next five years instead.
Yeah, he gave me the “part of this family” speech too. It’s sort of his trademark. See, if I don’t hang up my towel or forget to empty the dishwasher or don’t set the table one time, he tells me that I need to start acting like I’m “part of this family” and be a mindless slave child who never questions anything I’m told to do. He also does this if I ask him why I have to do something. Usually this is combined with the “you’re a horrible selfish brat and by doing __________ you’re saying you hate everyone” thing.
Then he gets mad at me when I say similar things to him. He says something about how I should be nice and polite and not yell at people over nothing.
Hey dad, maybe I’d do that if I’d ever had a decent role model, hmm?
I know, I know, it’s not all his fault, but come on. He’s not exactly setting a great example, is he? I have the right to give as good as I get.
So, since I’m apparently a tenant now, anyone want to offer me better housing? This arrangement isn’t working out so well.
If I hear Duncan make a TV reference one more time, someone will die. Preferably the TV.
It’s not the TV that’s at fault, of course not. The TV can, in fact, be very useful (Hello, Yellow Submarine?). So really, it’s simply the TV shows that should die. After all, only TV shows could be so unrelentingly crappy. Oh, some are all right. I will willingly watch iCarly, House, and AFV. But that’s it.
Movies are a different matter. Most movies are meant to be enjoyable, whereas TV shows are designed simply to keep your 6-year-old occupied while you operate heavy machinery (etc.). Yet it blows my mind that any 6-year-old, especially mine, can possibly enjoy this crap. (Then again, Sarah Anne likes to watch Chowder, and she’s 12 or 13. One of those.)
And if it weren’t for the cable, I wouldn’t have to deal with my pet first-grader constantly saying things like “What if Chowder’s first name were Clam and his last name were Chowder?” and then giggling at me. Really, it’s so freaking stupid it makes my mind explode. (My…brain…hurts!)
The worst thing about this whole thing is that the most stupid of shows is so attention-grabbing. I have actually managed to get the Phineas & Ferb theme song stuck in my head. I mean, what the hell? I have about 193 Beatles songs stored in there and this infantile ditty blocks them all out?
And all of these shows are on cable. So next time you buy a weird shirt, don’t get one that says “Kill Your TV” (My mom has one of these). Get one that says “Kill Your Cable Box”.
I first heard Rubber Soul when I was about six. That album has always been one of my favorites, which I think has something to do with the sound of something, some element in there, but I don’t know what. However, for years after I first heard it, I would often wonder what the heck “The Word” was supposed to be about. This is because, well, I had no clue what the words really were.
You are all familiar with the actual lyrics, yes? Well, this is what I was hearing:
Save the world and you’ll be free Save the world and be like me
Save the world and think it out
Have you heard the world is love?
It’s so fine
It’s sunshine
It’s the world love
I know what you’re all thinking: “What the hell?” And that’s what I was thinking, but keep in mind I was six. I assumed that “the world is love” must mean something important to be in a song. Here’s the sad part: I went around with this misconception for several years. Recently I got back into the Beatles; then, and only then, did I realize what the real words were.
Which makes “the world is love” even weirder, in my opinion.
This music thing is getting way out of hand. By the way, did you know I’m a crappy songwriter? I’ll show you.
Going In Circles
Sitting on the porch playing “Here Comes The Sun”
The battle’s lost and I’ve barely begun
‘Cause I’ll never be what you said I’d become
To you.
When I got to the bottom I went back to the top of the slide
You were still there, waiting to go for a ride
I won’t go in circles for you anymore.
I never thought it would come to this
But even though you will be missed
I just can’t go in circles for you anymore.
I kept on listening to your every demand
You thought you had me in the palm of your hand
Well now it’s time that I take a stand
For you.
I’ll never do anything again
For you.
I’ll never do anything again
For you.
I can’t believe it’s not sh*t!
I have another one too, but it’s more of a poem. I’ve sort of got a tune for “Going In Circles” but it might already be taken by a real song. Opinions?
Yes, it’s true. Literature class is suckish, very muchly so too. I hate it. (I’ve probably said it before, but I’ll tell you again)
It’s not the reading I hate, of course. What were you thinking, you sick person? It’s the analyzing every which way, blah blah.
So today Ihad to read the story “Papa’s Parrot” and answer some questions. Questions 1 through 8, to be exact. So I was thinking, “Easy, easy, easy, easy, easy, easy, easy, ooh, what’s this?” The question was “What can you learn from Harry’s experiences?”
I wrote From Harry’s experiences, I learned and then stopped. Why? Because I was trying not to be honest and say “From Harry’s experiences, I learned absolutely nothing! Hello, waste of time!”
I mean, REALLY. Harry’s experiences were: not visiting his dad’s store, and being asked “Where’s Harry?” by a parrot. No big life lessons there. Maybe I should’ve written “From Harry’s experiences, I learned that lit. class sucks! Oh wait, I already knew that.”
