Musings from outside the circle
So, I could say that I just didn’t have anything to post about and I totally knew this existed, but that would be a lie. The fact is, I have nothing to post about that I can think of at the moment…so please enjoy this, courtesy of the Failblog.
One must wonder what news channels are coming to when one sees this kind of thing.
If I hear Duncan make a TV reference one more time, someone will die. Preferably the TV.
It’s not the TV that’s at fault, of course not. The TV can, in fact, be very useful (Hello, Yellow Submarine?). So really, it’s simply the TV shows that should die. After all, only TV shows could be so unrelentingly crappy. Oh, some are all right. I will willingly watch iCarly, House, and AFV. But that’s it.
Movies are a different matter. Most movies are meant to be enjoyable, whereas TV shows are designed simply to keep your 6-year-old occupied while you operate heavy machinery (etc.). Yet it blows my mind that any 6-year-old, especially mine, can possibly enjoy this crap. (Then again, Sarah Anne likes to watch Chowder, and she’s 12 or 13. One of those.)
And if it weren’t for the cable, I wouldn’t have to deal with my pet first-grader constantly saying things like “What if Chowder’s first name were Clam and his last name were Chowder?” and then giggling at me. Really, it’s so freaking stupid it makes my mind explode. (My…brain…hurts!)
The worst thing about this whole thing is that the most stupid of shows is so attention-grabbing. I have actually managed to get the Phineas & Ferb theme song stuck in my head. I mean, what the hell? I have about 193 Beatles songs stored in there and this infantile ditty blocks them all out?
And all of these shows are on cable. So next time you buy a weird shirt, don’t get one that says “Kill Your TV” (My mom has one of these). Get one that says “Kill Your Cable Box”.
I can’t spell anymore.
Inopportune “U” Placers Anonymous (IUPA) Mindset Adjustment Guide:
Say loudly to self, “Vigor does not have a ‘u’ in it.” Repeat as necessary.
There is definitely something wrong with me now. I mean, really, when you start typing “vigour” in forum posts, then it’s all gone wrong. [banging head against wall] This is not Europe! Help!!!!!
I know, I know. Reading the title, you’re expecting a long, serious discussion. What’s wrong with you people? This is me we’re talking about. Which is why I present you with:
This particular cake goes hand-in-hand with an Algebra problem that I find funny. It was one of those ones where you have to figure out the ages of two people. This is what it said (I can’t remember the actual name):
“Sarah is 16 years older than her son.”
Um.
Are the Algebra people advocating teen pregnancy?
Yeah, this is kind of lame. See, for a good bit of last month, I had “The Fool On The Hill” stuck in my head. And this is because I had listened to it before, obviously, and suddenly thought, like this big revelation, “Hey, wait a sec! I’m the Fool on the Hill!” Of course I’m not really, but come on. It’s plausible. Either that or I’m becoming one of those people who reads too much into Beatles songs. Like those idiots that came up with the whole “Paul is dead” thing.
Also, pancakes are actually pretty good cold.
This is kinda unrelated, but a couple days ago I was walking home with Peyton & Co. (well, just Peyton and Ashley, but Peyton & Co. sounds better) and Peyton said something about how when she gets old, she’s going to have “brilliant” white hair. For some reason this use of the word brilliant made me laugh. I have no idea why. I sort of think it could possibly have something to do with this Beatles obsession thing, but that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.
By the way, look at some of the things I like: The Beatles. Monty Python. Terry Pratchett. The Rutles.
Do you see something wrong in the fact that at least half of my entertainment (etc.) comes from British guys?
I first heard Rubber Soul when I was about six. That album has always been one of my favorites, which I think has something to do with the sound of something, some element in there, but I don’t know what. However, for years after I first heard it, I would often wonder what the heck “The Word” was supposed to be about. This is because, well, I had no clue what the words really were.
You are all familiar with the actual lyrics, yes? Well, this is what I was hearing:
Save the world and you’ll be free
Save the world and be like me
Save the world and think it out
Have you heard the world is love?
It’s so fine
It’s sunshine
It’s the world love
I know what you’re all thinking: “What the hell?” And that’s what I was thinking, but keep in mind I was six. I assumed that “the world is love” must mean something important to be in a song. Here’s the sad part: I went around with this misconception for several years. Recently I got back into the Beatles; then, and only then, did I realize what the real words were.
Which makes “the world is love” even weirder, in my opinion.
I’m sooooooo lame.
A couple days/weeks/some unit of time ago, Duncan and I were home alone, late. We were watching The Rutles with popcorn. That is, we were having popcorn, not them. And I was checking the songs against the ones on our CDs. And I realized how lame something was which I shall reveal to you now.
Looooong ago, I was obsessively looking up Beatles songs on Wikipedia, as I do, and I read something about Ringo’s real name being Richard Starkey on the actual page for the band. This seems irrelevant, but it gets better.
Much more recently, although not within the past month or so, I was listening to the White Album outside my iPod for the first time in…ever, I think. Maybe not quite. Anyway, I was looking at the lyrics for “Don’t Pass Me By”, and it said Starkey under it instead of Lennon/McCartney or Harrison. I spent a moment puzzling over it, but decided it was someone connected to the Beatles who I’ve never heard of.
A week or two later, I was watching The Rutles for the first or second time, and there’s this thing where they say they found their drummer, Barrington Womble (or something), hiding in the van, and had him change his name to save time, so he changed it to Barry Wom. And I was thinking, “Okay, he’s the drummer, so he’s Ringo, and Ringo did change his name. What did he change it from?…Oh, Richard Starkey.” Later in the movie, my mind wanders to the White Album. And:
“OH! I get it now!” Yes, I said that out loud (I think) upon realizing that Ringo had written “Don’t Pass Me By”.
I’m so lame.
—————–
I can has problem?
Okay, so I told you that before, I couldn’t listen to Wings, right? Then I told you about how part of “Too Many People” floated through my head and got me hooked on our one CD for a weekend, yes? Y’know what happened the following week?
I spent three days getting “Band On The Run” out of my head. This seems trivial, sure, but I love that song, yet now I avoid it completely. Why? Two words:
Guilt trip.
Listening to Wings makes me feel guilty. Like I’m betraying my Beatles fandom. Every single time I think of this, I realize how utterly stupid that sounds. And it is stupid.
I can has help?
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