Beatles Rock Band: Evil?

As gratified as I am that Beatles Rock Band has finally come out, I am disgusted by the number of people who are suddenly Beatles fans. Hey, guys? [whistles] Over here! I was a Beatles fan before they were cool in this decade!

If I become cool for liking them, the Apocalypse is coming.

I bet you’re wondering why this bothers me so much. I mean, I love the Beatles. Why should I protest if everyone else does too? Two reasons:

1) I don’t want to become mainstream, although this is less important.

2) You know they only like the Beatles because they’ve suddenly become new and exciting again. In two months they’ll be back with–whatever teenagers listen to now. I am a real Beatles fan. All these other people are just joining in because it’s something new. Kind of like in Ankh-Morpork.

What do you think? Tell me your opinions on this not-particularly-phenomenal phenomenon.

Tags: Beatles, Discworld, mainstream, stupid, Terry Pratchett

I liiiive!

…Probably.

I have recently completed many tasks on my warped mental To Do list, which is my terrible excuse for the recent lack of posts. Let’s review, shall we?

Brainwash Susan with the Beatles ?
Finally finish the third chapter of my book ?
Go to the library ?
Survive the first week of school ?
Finally buy A Hard Day’s Night (squee) ?

Aaaand here’s what I still have to do.

Remember to watch Yellow Submarine, dammit
Forget I ever watched Across the Universe
Talk to my dad about a schedule for guitar lessons
Think of a title for my book
Learn to draw a decent picture of a dragon-gryphon hybrid (long story)

I really don’t have anything else interesting to say, so in closing, here’s a funny picture.

Thank you.

Tags: Beatles, crap, FAIL, list, total waste of time

The mind, it boggles.

How does my brother watch these TV shows?

Hannah Montana, for instance. It’s billed as a show about the adventures of a rock star who lives a double life as a normal girl. This could be pretty good if it were true to description. I see the story of a crappy singer whose only good idea, ever, is to hide her real identity. Anyone else?

Spongebob, of course, is a cartoon and thusly inherently evil, but still. Annoying idiots running around doing stupid and occasionally mildly entertaining things. Yeah, I’ll have to agree with Squidward on this one. He’s still a mediocre musician, though.

And then there’s that Back At The Barnyard show. Seriously, guys. Who thought it was a good idea to make a TV show out of what may well have been a perfectly good movie? (Though I highly doubt that. Nickelodeon movies are devolving.)

And yes, this is a bit ranty. But I hate most TV shows anyway, so I will rant about them all I want. Sorry.

On a mostly unrelated note, has anyone seen Across The Universe? The movie which is mostly made up of oddly redone Beatles songs? I swear, some of those actors should be arrested for music terrorism. Just…yeah. But I was entertained by the girl singing “I Want To Hold Your Hand”.

I’m feeling uncharitable toward TV today, in case you couldn’t tell.

Tags: bad mood, Beatles, Kill Your TV, ranty

Can Idiots Be Smart?

No one seems to read this anymore. Thusly, I can address my mental goings-on without fear of…something.

I’m going to explain part of something very complicated. I have this little version of myself in my head which is sort of me how I’d like to be. And I wander around through various worlds from books and movies and my own demented thinking. Generally I single out a few characters and stalk them, at least in the beginning. This would explain by Beatles issues to some extent.

Anyway, the other me likes to bug people. One person in particular. So much that I climb in his window at five in the morning just because it bothers him. And I make fun of him a lot, because I know he won’t hit me. (This isn’t because I have control over what he does in my head. I like to stay true to character.) And no, it’s not Paul. That’s a whole ‘nother…thing that’s whole.

Ahem. Anyway, just because I enjoy bugging people doesn’t mean I don’t like them. What I want to know is, can an idiot not be stupid? This question has been presented to me in various situations by a certain talking dog. I’ve stopped making assorted comments because of it. So…answers?

Also, my sanity is severely disrupted by the nosreps. “Nosrep” is “person” backwards. They’re exact opposites of existing people, and a plot device that I made up because I was running out of ideas for ways to—never mind. Well, they aren’t exact opposites in all ways, just in most aspects of personality. Most people never meet theirs, which is good, because it could start a huge war. You should have seen—never mind. But they’ve kind of taken on a life of their own. I reconciled with my nosrep, Ecnatsnoc, a while ago, and we met in an alley while she was hunting a nosrep called Tsiom. Um. So you can see my problem.

I forgot what I was talking about. Sorry.

Tags: Beatles, bizarre, Discworld, nonsense, nosreps, revelation

Beatles Obsession

Exaggeration.

So I’m finally getting back to my standard Beatles-related things. Today I shall address my limited experience of the Beatles as a little kid.

First, Yellow Submarine. No clue how many times I watched it back then, but certain bits of it always stayed with me. I never forgot the Blue Meanies or the Glove, obviously, but there’s more. I retained some of the strangest things, too, like the “Nowhere Man” sequence and the part toward the end: “Arise, arise, arouse, a rose!…a rosy nose?” And “All Together Now”. Not surprisingly, I had vague memories of all the songs apart from “It’s All Too Much”. By the way, there are some weird lyrics in that. For example:

Show me that I’m everywhere, and get me home for tea

Then there’s Rubber Soul. I first heard that when I was I don’t know how old, and I fell in love with the CD. I never even knew it was by the Beatles. You already know about that “the world is love” thing, which is very entertaining now, but I had other odd experiences as well. At one point I was singing “Girl” under my breath (as I often do) as we were leaving for somewhere, and my parents thought it was really funny.

This would not be complete without mentioning Abbey Road, which you should not put in the CD player if you’re going to hit “shuffle”. I think we had it on tape when I was in…first grade? I remember listening to it in the car and my favorite song being “Oh! Darling”. I didn’t know the name, so it was simply “Song Number Four”. “Can we listen to Song Number Four, Mommy?” “Mommy, I want to hear Song Number Four.” “Skip to Song Number Four, please.” And I also enjoyed (and knew the name of) “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer”.

A strange thing happened when I slowly but surely got back into the Beatles in October. For years I’d had scraps of random songs floating around my head, having no idea what they were from. One day, I come home from school and, wanting a change, play 1.

BAM. Recollection. So awesome.

This is gonna be a realllllly long post.

I blame my Beatles obsession partly on Peyton and partly on my Spelling textbook. It’s Peyton’s fault because, on the way home from school, I mentioned I had a Beatles song stuck in my head. She said she did, too, and started singing “Help!” very quietly, skipping a line at the beginning. To my surprise, I remembered most of the song. At home, I pulled out the Help! CD and listened to it all the way through. Now my obsession was spread over two albums. What really turned me into a fully-fledged Beatles fan was reading one day, in my Spelling book, something about “Love Me Do”. I then realized I knew four of the lines to the song (which are actually almost all of it). Thusly I became the psycho you see today.

Tags: awesome, Beatles, memories

Lies

So I lied.

You might remember at the end of The Merits of Hell, where I typed those fateful capital letters. Okay, not fateful, but melodramatic. But, um, it didn’t last very long.

Well.

Now that I’ve admitted it, I guess it isn’t so bad. Just vaguely creepy and slightly disturbing. And weird. But not as much as before. You should have seen that diary entry…ahem. Never mind.

Tags: Beatles, madness, Paul McCartney

Kill Your Cable Box

If I hear Duncan make a TV reference one more time, someone will die. Preferably the TV.

It’s not the TV that’s at fault, of course not. The TV can, in fact, be very useful (Hello, Yellow Submarine?). So really, it’s simply the TV shows that should die. After all, only TV shows could be so unrelentingly crappy. Oh, some are all right. I will willingly watch iCarly, House, and AFV. But that’s it.

Movies are a different matter. Most movies are meant to be enjoyable, whereas TV shows are designed simply to keep your 6-year-old occupied while you operate heavy machinery (etc.). Yet it blows my mind that any 6-year-old, especially mine, can possibly enjoy this crap. (Then again, Sarah Anne likes to watch Chowder, and she’s 12 or 13. One of those.)

And if it weren’t for the cable, I wouldn’t have to deal with my pet first-grader constantly saying things like “What if Chowder’s first name were Clam and his last name were Chowder?” and then giggling at me. Really, it’s so freaking stupid it makes my mind explode. (My…brain…hurts!)

The worst thing about this whole thing is that the most stupid of shows is so attention-grabbing. I have actually managed to get the Phineas & Ferb theme song stuck in my head. I mean, what the hell? I have about 193 Beatles songs stored in there and this infantile ditty blocks them all out?

And all of these shows are on cable. So next time you buy a weird shirt, don’t get one that says “Kill Your TV” (My mom has one of these). Get one that says “Kill Your Cable Box”.

Tags: Beatles, idiotic, infantile, Kill Your TV, lame, stupid, TV

Beatles and Fish!

What do fish have to do with anything? I don’t know; I only know that they’ve shown up in most of my dreams about the Beatles. Except the ones with the spaceships and the intestines…but never mind. The point is, obviously the Beatles and fish have some kind of deep subconscious relationship.

Or maybe I’m just crazy.

The first dream, which I have never told the full details of, started with me swimming in this awesome lake. Then these people came out into the water holding what were probably blocks of wood covered in fish, and scraped the fish into the water. The fish then came to life. I continued swimming in this disturbing situation for a while, and don’t remember stopping.

Later, I was in some kind of mall with someone who was my dad and yet wasn’t, and–you guessed it–the Beatles! From Yellow Submarine, of course. And for some reason they were all really tall. Anyway, then there was the elevator bit. This was when, as far as I can remember, the Beatles were in an elevator, and Ringo came up with the idea of standing on top to get to the next floor sooner. He was the only one who did this. After the elevator stopped we had to go pull him out. The other Beatles came out of the elevator first, of course. And they were singing something.

The thing I can’t stand is that I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT THEY WERE SINGING! Damn. And then I woke up with “Nowhere Man” stuck in my head, and no, that wasn’t it.

And so that I can shut up and talk about something else, enjoy this:

It’s the evil volcanic toilet! Dun-dun-dun.

Tags: awesome, Beatles, bizarre, elevators, FAIL, Failblog, fish, nonsense

The Merits of Hell

(What, you thought that was going to be my only post today? Jeesh.)

I had an amazing dream once about hell/Hell. It was also very strange:

I was in high school (though it looked suspiciously like Lincoln). one of my friends was warned that she was going to be prematurely sent to Hell. She agreed, for some reason. When the day came, a big swirly portal opened at school and my friend got sucked in. I remember telling a teacher I was following her, getting permission (!), and jumping in just before the swirly portal closed.

Hell turned out to be an inn which was nicknamed “The Hell Hole”, as nobody knew what it was really called. It consisted of a kitchen/bar, several tables which folded into double beds, a staircase (forbidden), a door (also forbidden), and several large windows. Hell apears to have a landscape similar to Mars.

The odd thing was, we weren’t allowed to go outside. As my friend and I sprawled (I love that word) on our bed and stared out the window, I remember commenting “What the hell is out there, anyway?” I thought this was hilarious, but my friend called it a lame pun.

However, this is not the best part.

There is a teacher at my school who teaches Tolerance, but she must be the most INtolerant person I have ever met. She treats us like little kids, acting like she’s all nice and sweet and friendly and a bunch of other sickening crap like that. Then you complain about something or correct her or make the slightest mistake and BAM!–Detention! Her name is Ms. Suzuki.

In my dream, Ms. Suzuki was the owner of The Hell Hole.

This dream did not involve intestines (invisible or otherwise), but I’m mentioning them here for an excuse to use the tag again.

Also, with regards to the issues discussed in “You Better Not Laugh” (see post): I had thought I could just let this die down a bit. Then, of course, my mom had to go be an *** about it (Groupies…*shudders*), making jokes about what I would do if I could go back in time and meet the Beatles. Therefore I find it necessary to make this statement: I NO LONGER HAVE A CRUSH ON PAUL. (He’s still awesome, though.)

Tags: Beatles, Dreams, Hell, intestines, invisible, Ms. Suzuki

The Process of Britification, or Inopportune “U” Placers Anonymous

I can’t spell anymore.

Inopportune “U” Placers Anonymous (IUPA) Mindset Adjustment Guide:

Say loudly to self, “Vigor does not have a ‘u’ in it.” Repeat as necessary.

There is definitely something wrong with me now. I mean, really, when you start typing “vigour” in forum posts, then it’s all gone wrong. [banging head against wall] This is not Europe! Help!!!!!

Tags: Beatles, Britification, errors, IUPA, lame