Teen Pregnancy

I know, I know. Reading the title, you’re expecting a long, serious discussion. What’s wrong with you people? This is me we’re talking about. Which is why I present you with:

This particular cake goes hand-in-hand with an Algebra problem that I find funny. It was one of those ones where you have to figure out the ages of two people. This is what it said (I can’t remember the actual name):

“Sarah is 16 years older than her son.”

Um.

Are the Algebra people advocating teen pregnancy?

Tags: bizarre, FAIL, lame, misunderstandings

The Erratic Jacket Revisited

Everyone remembers my “Erratic Jacket Phenomenon” post, yes? (If not, go find it. It’s hilarious.) Well, may I introduce to you, the one, the only…

Erratic Jacket Study! [clapping]

Embellishments aside, I need to explain what I’ve done here, because it’s a little odd and unnecessary. I’ve actually counted every single time the aforementioned Erratic Jacket (which is awesome, by the way) changes colors, etc. So prepare to be amazed at the utter pointlessness of my undertaking!

Color Changes
Black: 23 times
Brown: 1 time
Purple: 29 times
Purple, obviously, is the dominant color.

Those Weird Changes in the Back of the Jacket
Split (or whatever it’s called): 11 times
Solid: 6 times
In Between: 1 time
I can’t say which is dominant here. My count is probably inaccurate because I totally forgot this part until halfway through the “Nowhere Man” bit. Sorry.

Number of Times Paul’s Collar Switched Between White & Orange After They Put The Uniforms On: 5 times

Here are some other things I wrote down, just because it was fun.

Total Lame Jokes: 68

And finally, here are some things Duncan and I said while we were watching Yellow Submarine. (Some are explained in parentheses.)
“He’s eating my pencil!” (Io likes to attack pencils, apparently. O-kay, moving on.)
“What the hell is he singing?”
“Real life?”
“This is why Ringo will never play the bagpipes.”
“Look, he squishes his nose.” (No clue.)
“Why is that horse’s head smoking?”
“I said–That’s a phone.” (Well, actually, I did say that. But I was going to say I said something else, except that Duncan thought a phone was a clock.)
“Hell is for love me?” (I misheard something Duncan said.)
“But ‘urgent’ starts with a ‘u’!” (Yes, it does. Not an “e”. A “u”.)
“Flying Ringos!” (End of “Only A Northern Song”.)
“George has a pointy head.” (It’s true.)
“Where did the flowers go?” (I mean, seriously. First they’re floating behind Paul. Then they vanish. What’s up with that?)
“Paul’s nose is funny-looking.” (It is! If you look at Paul’s nose in Yellow Submarine, it really is funny-looking! Nobody has a nose like that!)

For those of you who don’t understand the last one, look at this:

See? See?!

Now look at that and tell me Paul’s nose isn’t funny-looking.

And Peyton, I know you’re reading this. When is a good time for me to, uh, kidnap you and make you watch Yellow Submarine?

Tags: Beatles, bizarre, Erratic Jacket, errors, music, Paul McCartney, Yellow Submarine

Revelation of the Week

Yeah, this is kind of lame. See, for a good bit of last month, I had “The Fool On The Hill” stuck in my head. And this is because I had listened to it before, obviously, and suddenly thought, like this big revelation, “Hey, wait a sec! I’m the Fool on the Hill!” Of course I’m not really, but come on. It’s plausible. Either that or I’m becoming one of those people who reads too much into Beatles songs. Like those idiots that came up with the whole “Paul is dead” thing.

Also, pancakes are actually pretty good cold.

This is kinda unrelated, but a couple days ago I was walking home with Peyton & Co. (well, just Peyton and Ashley, but Peyton & Co. sounds better) and Peyton said something about how when she gets old, she’s going to have “brilliant” white hair. For some reason this use of the word brilliant made me laugh. I have no idea why. I sort of think it could possibly have something to do with this Beatles obsession thing, but that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

By the way, look at some of the things I like: The Beatles. Monty Python. Terry Pratchett. The Rutles.

Do you see something wrong in the fact that at least half of my entertainment (etc.) comes from British guys?

Tags: Beatles, lame, Monty Python, music, revelation, Rutles, Terry Pratchett, word association

The World is What?

I first heard Rubber Soul when I was about six. That album has always been one of my favorites, which I think has something to do with the sound of something, some element in there, but I don’t know what. However, for years after I first heard it, I would often wonder what the heck “The Word” was supposed to be about. This is because, well, I had no clue what the words really were.

You are all familiar with the actual lyrics, yes? Well, this is what I was hearing:

Save the world and you’ll be free
Save the world and be like me
Save the world and think it out
Have you heard the world is love?
It’s so fine
It’s sunshine
It’s the world love

I know what you’re all thinking: “What the hell?” And that’s what I was thinking, but keep in mind I was six. I assumed that “the world is love” must mean something important to be in a song. Here’s the sad part: I went around with this misconception for several years. Recently I got back into the Beatles; then, and only then, did I realize what the real words were.

Which makes “the world is love” even weirder, in my opinion.

Tags: Beatles, errors, FAIL, lame, music, nonsense, revelation, stupid, the world

Magic Goats

Oh my god.

How stupid can people possibly be?

Magic goats?!

Tags: FAIL, Failblog, magic goats