Contextless and Sanity-Impaired Post

But you know the really annoying thing about Across the Universe was that there was a character named Maxwell, and he had a silver hammer, and he never killed anyone with it.

Does your depravity know no bounds?

No. And don’t quote movies at me.

…Insert Donovan here.

Happiness runs in a circular motion
Thought is like a little boat upon the sea
Everybody is a part of everything anyway
You can have everything if you let yourself be
Happiness runs, happiness runs

Tags: Beatles, bizarre, Donovan, madness, sanity-deficient

Of Course I Remember This…Uh…

So, I could say that I just didn’t have anything to post about and I totally knew this existed, but that would be a lie. The fact is, I have nothing to post about that I can think of at the moment…so please enjoy this, courtesy of the Failblog.

Tags: awesome, Failblog, lame

I liiiive!

…Probably.

I have recently completed many tasks on my warped mental To Do list, which is my terrible excuse for the recent lack of posts. Let’s review, shall we?

Brainwash Susan with the Beatles ?
Finally finish the third chapter of my book ?
Go to the library ?
Survive the first week of school ?
Finally buy A Hard Day’s Night (squee) ?

Aaaand here’s what I still have to do.

Remember to watch Yellow Submarine, dammit
Forget I ever watched Across the Universe
Talk to my dad about a schedule for guitar lessons
Think of a title for my book
Learn to draw a decent picture of a dragon-gryphon hybrid (long story)

I really don’t have anything else interesting to say, so in closing, here’s a funny picture.

Thank you.

Tags: Beatles, crap, FAIL, list, total waste of time

Can Idiots Be Smart?

No one seems to read this anymore. Thusly, I can address my mental goings-on without fear of…something.

I’m going to explain part of something very complicated. I have this little version of myself in my head which is sort of me how I’d like to be. And I wander around through various worlds from books and movies and my own demented thinking. Generally I single out a few characters and stalk them, at least in the beginning. This would explain by Beatles issues to some extent.

Anyway, the other me likes to bug people. One person in particular. So much that I climb in his window at five in the morning just because it bothers him. And I make fun of him a lot, because I know he won’t hit me. (This isn’t because I have control over what he does in my head. I like to stay true to character.) And no, it’s not Paul. That’s a whole ‘nother…thing that’s whole.

Ahem. Anyway, just because I enjoy bugging people doesn’t mean I don’t like them. What I want to know is, can an idiot not be stupid? This question has been presented to me in various situations by a certain talking dog. I’ve stopped making assorted comments because of it. So…answers?

Also, my sanity is severely disrupted by the nosreps. “Nosrep” is “person” backwards. They’re exact opposites of existing people, and a plot device that I made up because I was running out of ideas for ways to—never mind. Well, they aren’t exact opposites in all ways, just in most aspects of personality. Most people never meet theirs, which is good, because it could start a huge war. You should have seen—never mind. But they’ve kind of taken on a life of their own. I reconciled with my nosrep, Ecnatsnoc, a while ago, and we met in an alley while she was hunting a nosrep called Tsiom. Um. So you can see my problem.

I forgot what I was talking about. Sorry.

Tags: Beatles, bizarre, Discworld, nonsense, nosreps, revelation

And to elaborate…

Sam Vimes: awesomer than you.

Don’t worry, this is probably the last of these. Also, the only reason it’s probably always going to be Vimes is that there never seems to be anything about Moist.

Tags: Awesomer than you, Discworld, Terry Pratchett

This pointless post brought to you by…

Thank you.

Now read the Discworld books, because otherwise this post is utterly pointless.

Tags: Discworld, pointless, Terry Pratchett

“I think this conversation has somehow got away from me.”

I am currently writing two books. One of them is set in the world of Vandermeer, where there are nontups.

I am here to say that the Vandermeer book is not based on my reading of Terry Pratchett at all. No, really. My sense of humor was always like that. Well, okay, maybe a little. I did stick Damp in there. But at least I didn’t create the city of Parody. And it’s not like I’m going to write more Vandermeer books–oh, wait, yes I am. Hmm.
Well, at leadt mine aren’t supposed to be adult books. No deluded teenager will ever read many, many Vandermeer books and then, while obsessively Wikipedia-ing one day, come across this nugget of information and shout, “ADULT books?! Really?!” thereby scaring the cat. And also disturbing themselves with their mental issues.
Or maybe that’s just me.

I plan to add this as an author’s note at the end of the book. Because I’m stupid like that.

Tags: Terry Pratchett, Vandermeer

Fear My Poems!

So. Last night, with a friend at my house, I wrote lots of poems which are apparently good. I don’t believe you, Susan. But I’m going to assault your eyes with them now, so…here goes.

Fall Apart
Falling apart on the inside
It feels true
I can’t control my thoughts
Spiraling away from me
Streams of unthinkable things
Death
Blood
Pain
They haunt me
They taunt me
They help me fall asleep at night
They torture me
I ask
Why
Do I have to feel these things?
I am f
              a
                    l
                       l
                          i
                             n
                                g
Into the things
That you only meet in nightmares
And I don’t understand
Why

Meaningless
The truth is a lie
And
The lie is a truth
Lies and truths
Definitions are so simple
Words on a page
But much more complex
In reality
They surface again
They are real
And they mean everything
And nothing

The Blue Rock Near The Porch
The blue rock
Near the porch
Has a key in it
I stare at it
Thinking
Deciding
My key is gone
Lost
Missing
But if I take this one
Then when they bring back Ginger
She can’t get in
And I can’t save her
Because they said
That if she couldn’t get in
They would take her away again
And that can’t happen

The blue rock
Near the porch
Has a key in it
They will bring her back soon
She can get in
She will be safe

I don’t know yet who Ginger is. What I do know is that someone took her away from her family, and there’s a key in the blue rock near the porch. I don’t know.

Tags: Ginger, I wrote it!

Lies

So I lied.

You might remember at the end of The Merits of Hell, where I typed those fateful capital letters. Okay, not fateful, but melodramatic. But, um, it didn’t last very long.

Well.

Now that I’ve admitted it, I guess it isn’t so bad. Just vaguely creepy and slightly disturbing. And weird. But not as much as before. You should have seen that diary entry…ahem. Never mind.

Tags: Beatles, madness, Paul McCartney

The Process of Britification, or Inopportune “U” Placers Anonymous

I can’t spell anymore.

Inopportune “U” Placers Anonymous (IUPA) Mindset Adjustment Guide:

Say loudly to self, “Vigor does not have a ‘u’ in it.” Repeat as necessary.

There is definitely something wrong with me now. I mean, really, when you start typing “vigour” in forum posts, then it’s all gone wrong. [banging head against wall] This is not Europe! Help!!!!!

Tags: Beatles, Britification, errors, IUPA, lame