Insult Dismemberment
I remember, at some point last year after I met Susan, I came to school wearing my orange pants (as I often do). I was standing outside Ms. Hsu’s classroom with Susan, waiting to be let in, and we were talking about–something, I don’t know. This one eighth-grader who was in my Algebra class, henceforth referred to as K, suddenly said to me, “Why are you wearing orange pants? Who wears orange pants?”
“Um…I do?” I replied. He looked bemused for a few moments, then said, fairly quietly, “Well, of course you would, Constance, because…you’re weird…” And I swear I could hear him thinking, Damn you, you ruined my insult.
K has not been the only person to do this. The other day in Core, the person next to me, henceforth referred to as M, said, “Only nerds like to read.”
“And?” I said.
“And…you like to read.”
“So?”
“So…you’re a nerd.”
“And?”
“You’re…a nerd?”
“Was that supposed to be an insult?”
M, who was beginning to look very uncomfortable, muttered “No, no” very quickly and returned to what he was doing.
I love ruining people’s insults. It’s so satisfying.
yup. amazing what happens when people who think they’re pointing out something bad figure out that you think it’s actually a good thing. hear that sound? it’s the sound of a paradigm shifting without a clutch.